Disclaimer
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Life goal
to be of those whom Allah SWT describes in ayat 104 of Surah Al Imran hizb 4.
ayat 100 - 105 al imran
Subsequent and afore verses are also very powerful and give a much broader view of the situation/picture.
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I had some amazing experiences this week during the last few days of Ramadan and first days of Eid. I share these only so that I remember them and perhaps they may be of benefit to others. Keep your praise and thanks for Allah alone, and if you must comment something to me then remember to say Masha Allah. I seek recognition from Allah and Him alone. Please enjoy. =)
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Went to the Masjid this morning for Fajr prayer (morning prayer before sunrise) - after the prayer was done i left from the Masjid a little hurriedly thinking of playing video games (a time waster) with my friend/as well as skipping a Sunnah prayer because I had missed its regular window. As I was walking through the low brush between the Masjid and my street I heard a rustle close by and jumped! Scared and alert as I looked for what may be an attacker. I met it's eyes as the doe likewise jumped and looked at me. We stood there for a moment frozen in time. Just a deer phew... beatiful creation of Allah no more then 10 feet from me. I was not in danger, what an amazing and rare thing to see especially in Ottawa. My heartbeat slowed as I looked away and up at the stars for a moment repeating the Shahadah out loud to myself in relief "Laa Illaha ill Allah, Laa illaha ill Allah" (something one says when death is very near or something amazing has just happened, etc.) my body mind and soul all relaxing as I took in the moment like a cold shower washing it all out and peace and contempment settled in like a warm blanket by the fire. The Doe had relaxed the same moment I had and contineud on its way casually as I was recieting the Shahada. I continued on my way as well respectively. As I was walking away and processing the moment a smile came to me and I stopped - remembering that Prophet Muhammad used to find a spot off to the side and make 2 sajdah (prostrations - part of the prayer) of thankfullness/asking for guidance whenever something important/amazing happened or when ill news came to him. So I made Sajdah right there in the grass beside the start of my street - thanking Allah for the wonderful and rare moment and the rememinder of death and life and what was important in the test that is the life of this world. I went home and prayed the Sunnah prayer that is normally prayed before Fajr - and instead of playing video games I decided to write this while it was still fresh and to take a nap.
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Lately I've been stressing and lost about what's going to happen with my re-acceptance renewal/deferral with the Islamic University of Madinah. I kept emailing the brothers from the student body of the University trying to get some answers and Alhamdulillah on this day - after asking the right questions and being direct- the same day I had this experience at Fajr time - I got the whole blunt picture, the harsh reality of the situation. And though it freaked me out a bit. I. Was. Soooooooo. Relieved. Just to know where I'm standing and where I have to go.
Alhamdulillah. Things look promising and now all I can do is be patient and pray. But regardless of what happens; If I'm re-accepted or not I have faith that Allah SWT knows what is best for me. Whatever happens, in the end it will all work out for the best.
Allah SWT promises that for the Believers whatever happens to them in this life - no matter how severe and bad it may seem that there IS more KHAIR (Good) in it then there is bad.
Allah SWT promises us in Surah An-Najm and elsewhere that He will not place a burden upon us like the burdens placed on those before us.
Allah SWT Promises that He never places a burden upon us greater then we have the ability to bear, AND Overcome! A wall to scale a mountain to climb, to stand victorious over ready to face the next one with new strengths and experience.
We have the tools to overcome them. But we have to be the ones to take Action. we must do our part. Tie your Camel! =P
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Consequently on the day before last (the day before my meeting with the deer) - I had seen the Qur'an on my table and brushed its surface lightly. Dust. Frown. I had to do something about that. Sometime soon, I'm in the middle of- computer crap. No time like the Present! Now. Pick up the Qur'an.
I picked up the Qur'an, asked Allah SWT for guidance, I want Him to talk to me. Opened to a random page, was the second page of Surah An-Najm (page 270, in the English/Arabic print by the Mosque of Kind Abdullah Ibn'Abd al-Aziz Al Su'ad. AKA the blue and gold one.)
5. He (Muhammad) has been taught (this Qur'an) by one mighty in power [Jibril (Gabriel)].
6. One free from any defect in body and mind then he (Jibril - Gabriel in his real shape as created by Allah) rose and became stable.
7. While he [Jibril (Gabriel)] was in the highest part of the horrizon, (tafsir ibn Kathir)
8. Then he [Jibril (Gabriel)] approached and came closer,
9. And was at a distance of two bows' length or (even) nearer.
10. So (Allah) revealed to His slave (Muhammad SAWS through Jibril) whatever he revealed.
11. The (Prophet's) heart lied not about what he (Muhammad) saw.
Subhanallah!!! as I am asking Allah for guidance He brings me to one of the pages telling of when Muhammad SAW was asking for Guidance in the cave of Jabal an-Noor and Allah answering his consistent dua by sending Jibril to tell him "IQARA!" Bismi rabi'kal Halaqa..... LOOK THIS UP AND EDIT .... read! learn! And give him prophethood. The ensueing account of how Muhammad was terrified and ran straight home to his wife Khadijah for comfort and advice is beautiful.
Of course I can never have prophethood and frankly - I wouldn't want to - thats a ton of responsibility and best left to Muhammad SAWS, the last and final Prophet and Isa (Jesus) AS (peace be upon him) when he comes back to lead us in Imam Mehdi's time.
Surah An-Najm was only a few pages long so I decided to read the whole thing from start to finish and turned on a recitation on Youtube as well to listen to and follow along in english. It was amazing, and just what I needed that day.
I started emailing the brothers from the student body again asking about the status and everything. As well as figuring out an action plan to get everything I needed for my student Visa. And the ball just started rolling Alhamdulillah.
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There will be lows and there will be highs - this is the beauty in the melody of life. For if it will all Highs and LaLa Land all the time what would we have to truly appreciate the high times, or to even recognise and differentiate them? What kind of a Life is that!? That is Paradise. That 'eternal happiness' is not possible in this life, that is not the melody of this Life. This 'eternal happiness' concept is seemingly intangible like the thought of eternity. We have no reference for it. One hundred is measurable we can imagine that, one million one billion is tangible. But eternity? It is something that comes from faith and belief and trust and truth. For those knowledge seekers it is something - perhaps not tangible - but believable. Belief - believe it or not =P - can be obtained through hard clear evidence that is irrefutable and undeniable when you truly study it. Like any avid student and seeker of knowledge would.
Ask the hard questions. Be a hard head about it. However ALWAYS remember to seek and obtain your knowledge from its purest source. And always remember that knowledge is endless, there is always something new to learn about a subject a new angle to explore it from. To find where the lines are truly drawn. Keep. An. Open. Mind. Seek it out. Don't just believe what someone else says about it - regardless of how trustworthy or untrustworthy they are - Always. Go. Back. To. The. Source. and its supporting evidence.
The paradise in the Hereafter is that which we are promised upon passing the test that is the Life of this world. and we are given all the cards, and we are allowed to look at them. it is an open book test! So read! Study! Brush the dust off that book collecting dust on your shelf. For it will be a witness For or against you on the day of Resurrection. The Qur'an especially.
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